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Those of you that know me at all, know by now that I am a Realist. OK,
maybe a Romantic Realist, but my feet are firmly planted in what is real,
what I see and feel from people, not so much what I hear come from them.
I give people the benefit of showing me what they are about, who they ARE,
before passing judgment on them, or assigning any label to them. (He's
honest and reliable, She's shallow and full of self-serving ego.) I really
believe MOST of us have aspirations to live honestly, with no shame in our
game, that we approach every aspect of life with the same face, everyday.
It isn't always easy to be honest, with each other or even with ourselves!
Some people go through life never knowing WHO they really are! They
care way too much about other people's opinion of them, trying to fit into
someone else's mold or version of who they think they should be. That's
where they trip themselves up!
They find themselves not only telling lies, but LIVING their own lies!
Creating so much emotional turmoil that they think they've escaped what is
even a greater turmoil going on internally for them.
I call these people Chameleons. They change personalities as quickly as
they can change clothes! Sadly though, they never fit in anywhere,
because they are TOO adaptable! They can't face their own reality, so they
create another and yet another as they go along, thinking that they are
fooling everyone around them, as they've fooled themselves!
We humans are an imperfect species, flawed and discontented to the point
that there are mutli-million dollar industries out there to FIX most of our
physical flaws. Let me tell ya'll though, no implants, no hair piece, no fake
tanning, no amount of cosmetic surgery can help you find who YOU really
are. That is an inherit, inborn and irrevocable gift that comes from our
Creator! To get there, to find that, we have to be honest with ourselves.
Most of our suffering comes from the falsehood and turmoil we create for
ourselves when we refuse to HONESTLY look at ourselves! There isn't any
big secret to doing this; YOU are what you are, WHO you are and no matter
how different you make yourself appear on the outside, you still come
home in the skin your in and wake up with WHO you really are! Try looking
at yourself honestly. The habit of honesty, once formed, is harder to break
than the habit of lying. It sure makes life easier for you and anyone in your
life, believe me!
Life is too short for needless games. The best thing for us is to know our
on hearts, our beliefs, to go about our day without falsehood or shame, not
trying to show people that you are one thing, while God forbid, in REALITY
you are another!
My own humble goal in life is a simple one, feel free to borrow it, adapt it to
fit your own life as needed...
I will be honest with myself and those I allow in my life. I will applaud my
good qualities and face my flaws with the courage to either accept or
change them. I will be at peace with who I truly am. My relationships will be
stronger because they are based on HONESTY.
If this motivates or encourages only ONE person to do some inner Soul
searching, my message has not been lost!
Namast`e,
Angelia Jackson-Steward
@2000
Sunshine and Shadows
Lulling, soothing whispers
Howling hysterical laughter
Cries of agony
My life is a mixture
Of pleasure and pain
Beginnings, Endings
Rebirth, I firmly believe in
Giving with my heart and soul
Gaining it back again
Understand me if you can
Not many do or ever will
Star lit nights under moonbeams
My ecstasy screams
Broken heart, Open heart, All
heart
Filled with even more Hopes and
Dreams
Cleansed with clarity, both head
and heart
I'm lead by a Higher Power
Protected by unseen Angel wings
Driven by an insatiable internal
hunger
This complicated, contradictory
world of me
Refusing to conform, but
accepting of Yours.
Angelia Jackson-Steward
Sometimes in the place of clarity there is nothing to be said. All is seamless, the
flow so clear as to make any comment pointless.
Yet words emerge.
That is when true poetry is attempted.
The unutterably beautiful has no set description. We reach into the experience,
grope for words, images, metaphors to describe the ineffable.
To get there, we cease to use words. Go to the stillness. Letting the Spirit, that
primary, fundamental energy that has no form, create form within you.
Like looking into a crystal ball. I gaze into myself, then dare to gaze inside of you. In
the clarity a cloud forms. Within the cloud a dream condenses, passes through my
consciousness, leaves a wake. A physical, yet truly psychic experience has
occurred, true mind reading. I see within myself, I've see within you.
Analysis cannot capture it. Mere words serve up no adequate description. It is
music, poetry, the dance of life, transcendent. It is a mood, a trance, a sacred time
out of ordinary experience.
Our bodies lay open to each other like unchartered territories. The map has been
handed to us. We study each other with hands, fingers, lips, tongues and follow the
map laid before us. We get a distinct feeling of déjà vu, we move together as if
we've moved each other before.
The map comes to life, dissolves in our hands, becomes a magic.
Close your eyes. Follow the imagining. Time stands still, yet we continue to be
moved, with each other, by each other. Reaching new heights and discovering new
landmarks that somehow were never touched before.
You read these words, but it is beyond them. Utterly beyond them.
Fall upwards. Fall inward. Entwined, our fall is softened by the heated breath
shared between our heated bodies. The music made by our dance, urges us on. Let
the Divine attraction be greater than gravity, lifting our Spirits for the gentle float
into Bliss.
Angelia Jackson-Steward
@2001
To SLK 4Life X9: For the inspiration and for the journey so far
Standing at the edge of a cliff, gazing out upon the sea,
Her thoughts were of their past, of what used to be.
Shattered dreams, beautiful memories, images swirled in her
head,
Their last phone call, such painful, harsh words were said.
Hurt, sad and angry, she swore she wouldn't cry,
But she felt so hopeless as tears filled her eyes.
She ached from inside out, from deep within her soul,
He wanted his freedom, no choice but to let him go.
Clouds rolled in, the sound of thunder filled the air,
The sky dark and heavy, like her mood, lonely and full of
despair.
After sharing everything for years together, now he was gone,
How could she go on without him, facing life all alone?
The rain pouring down, lightning like streaks of steel,
The power to hurt, the strength to kill,
Yet she remained on the cliff, soaked to the skin,
Struggling with the thought of him never coming home again.
His voice called out to her into the night, thunder covering
the sound,
She never heard, as she slipped on the rain-covered ground.
He was too late to save her as she tumbled down to the beach,
Now and forever she would be out of his reach.
He screamed that he loved her, hadn't meant what he did and
said,
But he was to late, his Soul mate lay dead.
He stood looking down in shock, tears blending with the rain,
Knowing he would never find her waiting at home again.
A thunderous boom quaked the earth,
A bold streak of lightning, with grief his body jerked.
They say during a storm, you can still hear her cry,
He visits that site often, where he watched his Love die.
Forever is an eternity, when two Soul mates meet,
Without each other, their Souls are incomplete.
He stands with silent tears, he prays for her forgiveness
Remembering the love of his life, in the dawn's early stillness.
This is a Love Story gone tragically wrong
About a love that was once so beautiful and strong
It's repeated throughout history, many share the lore
Broken hearts and wandering Soulmates, finding love
Nevermore.
Angelia Jackson-Steward
@2003
A year together, without a hint of doubt,
They seek each other's eyes at intervals
Of gratefulness to firelight and four walls,
Their love's obliteration of the crowd.
Serenely and sensually equally endowed,
connected as few seldom are, their joy recalls
No test of wills, no subject taboo, no friend
or foe can penetrate the bond between them.
Over them falls a blessing that neither would have
known without the other.
Wiser for recognizing their value to the other,
trust comes to them without being beckoned,
no sacrifice too great or small, no gift quite
adequate to show the intensity of all each holds
for the other.
Were he to read aloud the sadness in her eyes
when forced to be apart,
the spark in his own eyes would wane,
as she waits for him, and for him alone;
separation in body never separating their Spirits.
Content only in the knowledge that his thoughts
are her thoughts, their moments of silence
shared,
The energy of a love so true, not bound by the
mere
physical, their Firelight unchallenged and
unchanged
by any distance or measure of time.
The Love that fuels that fire binds their goals,
directs their dreams, deems their destiny;
For apart it would only smolder, but together
IT lights their path into Infinity.
©2002 Angelia Jackson-Steward
Ahhhh, the fickle course Love takes
Winding like fingers around hearts heavy with passion
That eventually presumes way too much!
Cards reciting sonnets written by dead strangers
Quoting remote feelings of the unrestrained heart
The unchained melodies that confides
Passion and lust that redeems all heartbreak...
Real Love's ride is wild and unabandoned
Leaving in it's wake a trail of plans in disarray
All the while the heart's security turns to inward despair
Blurting out raw obsessions, feelings naked and bare,
Voicing a vulgar, lustful need for each others blunt honesty.
Throbbing passionate parts in our self written play...
Scenes played out even when lost affections remain sweet memories,
Even as poised fingertips type poisoned poems to defray the pain
Like a wounded gem whose sparkle depends upon inclusion WITH you
Denied the perception of it's clarity, sparkle and even it's shine
That bit by bit defines and transmits immense shows of an undying Love!
Vowing that before all breath is finally breathed away
My love for you will be known AT LAST and feel requited ... as your deepest
love!
That ONE LOVE.
Unashamed, I admit that I need your love!
Even such a love that is contained
within a few borrowed hours,
yet glows with evidence of a Love tested and true.
Perhaps there is no such thing as a perfect love
Yet between gasps, the words intended to be withheld
Is inspired by you even without the small proofs from you
or the usual gifts of love or a hint of a future with you!
YOU take me to such exquisite heights!
Making love with you is like taking a devastating fall each time,
embracing you with arms and legs, knowing the unquestioned answer
This Love is intense, completely honest and even if only in my heart...
As Real As It Gets.
2SLK: 4Life X9
Š2004 Angelia Jackson-Steward